beautiful mess


My hands were absolutely drenched in paint. Eyes were filling with tears. My legs were numb from sitting in the same position for eight hours. My eyes were tired of critiquing the same spots over and over again. Head was calculating how much money and time I had wasted.

My heart was questioning if I even had the right to call myself an artist.

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The pressure and emotion continued to mount, until I spontaneously grabbed the paper towel and started removing countless layers of paint. As soon as the paper towel hit the canvas, I felt my stomach plummet and immediately regretted this impulsive decision. I remember thinking to myself, “Look at this mess! How in the world did you think this was going to make it better?!”

This inner conflict only seemed to magnify as I continued to hear the paper towel pull across the canvas. It was my dreadful version of nails across a chalkboard. At this point my body had almost totally given up, both mentally and physically. However, my hands somehow managed to continue to work on the painting. It was as if they were the only part of my body that believed there was something lovely in this mess. They took complete control, and I let them. They continued to guide and nurture the paint in a way that I had never experienced before.

My impatience and emotions had simply reached their limit. Out of pure frustration and anger I threw numerous paper towels filled with paint at the large canvas. Each towel bounced off and landed on the floor of my studio.

As I wiped the pools of tears from my eyes, I realized I was finally on to something.

Not just anything, something that I loved.

This occurrence created a stunning masterpiece, but I believe it happened for a deeper and more meaningful reason. It was a lesson in the simplest and most beautiful form. This shed light on the fact that most of the creations we love, don’t always come from a planned agenda, strategic blueprint, and even logical decisions.

As creatives, we must try to come to terms with the fact that some of our designs or parts of our journey unfortunately aren’t going to be how we first imagined them.

We must own our own genius by relishing in the mess.

We must let the particles land where they may, step back and stand in awe of our “SuperNova”.

Hi! I’m Kaitlin Noverr, the abstract artist behind elysian market. The meaning behind elysian is complex, yet meaningful: beautiful or creative, divinely inspired, peaceful or perfect. This word embodies the connection and sentiment I strive to give to others through my painting. Most days you can find me in my home studio in Cincinnati, Ohio, wearing paint clothes, getting lost in my painting, and smiling from ear to ear!

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