As Women Business Owners, we are open to the harsh criticism that can come with putting ourselves out there. Our society has been so ingrained in judging others that we can become disheartened by those judgments, especially when they come from within. Gaining confidence is one way that we are able to mute the noises we hear and start taking action without fear of the "what if" statements we are always thinking about.
Whether we are judging others, being judged or judging ourselves it can lead us to having a bad day/week/month, you name it. Those judgments can be detrimental to taking action in our big dreams and goals, without even realizing we have been in a stagnant place! I have been there, judging myself so hard that it lead me to just do nothing. Some daily thoughts back when I started my business in 2014 before it became the Marketing and Small Business Coaching Company it is today were:
“Ugh, that company blogs everyday and they make it look so easy, why can’t I do that”
“I am not attracting the clients I want because I’m not good enough, knowledgeable enough, or have enough experience”
These thoughts did not motivate me at all because they paralyzed me and made me unable to go forward with my vision. Thoughts like these always make you question what you’re doing and when we judge others too, we are making interpretations and assumptions about their situation or journey, which we definitely do not have the whole story off! We are all on our own journey in owning our businesses and it is always better to lift each other and ourselves up then try to tear it all down, this is where having confidence comes in!
Confidence is something we all have and we can tap into it as long as we hone that skill. When we are being judged (or are judging others) our energy levels are in a negative, catabolic state, which is completely draining and can lead to self-doubt. We feel awful, almost like an emotional hangover, and it takes a lot more energy to get back to exerting the positive or anabolic energy we strive for.
There are 3 techniques to gaining confidence, that I know will give you the boost you need when everyday judgments and life has you down.
A judgment journal helps you write down everything and anything you are judging about yourself or others, plus it’s an excuse to buy a cute notebook! This helps to show you how hard you can be on yourself and others. Now this isn’t something you have to do forever, because as you become more aware of the judging, you will not need the journal as much.
To start first run to target (or your store of choice) and buy a notebook that makes you feel inspired and safe. Then keep it wherever you are and whenever you catch yourself making a judgment write it down. There is so much power that words and thoughts can hold on us, but the simple act of writing can disempower that. Try it for a week and see how you are feeling after, I guarantee you will be happier and living more confidently knowing that your judgments hold no power over who you are!
Creating your mantra around what you want to accomplish, may sounds simple, but it is powerful. Whenever those judgments start to pop-up, it is a good practice to repeat your mantra as this will make the statements disengaged from what they are and bring you back to a place of being centered so you can continue with the tasks at hand. They can be anything you want them to be, some examples are:
“I am good enough”
“I am a strong confident business owner who sees opportunities in everything”
“I am my own person, no one else can do what I want to do but me”
“My vision is clear and I know the way to make it happen”
“I’ve got this”
Put your mantra on a sticky note and put it someplace visible, or in multiple places, so it is easily accessible when it is needed!
Do What Makes You Happy Once a Day
We often forget about self-care because we are so busy going after our dreams! Taking time once a day to do a simple thing that makes you happy helps you get in the mindset that closes out the judgmental chaos and allows you to find the joy in what your doing which lifts up your mood and instills the confidence you have to get things done.
These things can be anything you want and can last as long as you need them. For me, I switch it up but I make time for yoga, exercise, reading, listening to music, or just sitting in silence and taking it all in (with a fur baby laying near by). I can do these things anywhere for as little as 5 minutes to up to an hour a day depending on what I have going on and it makes all the difference. We are givers by nature, and we forget to give ourselves the time we need to recharge our minds, which can lead us to judging and doubting ourselves.
Showing off confidence will not only deafen the white noise of the everyday judgments, but you may be surprised at how it helps you attract like minded people and clients into your life!
I want to see you achieve your own version of success; these techniques are just some tips on how you’re able to be confident in what you are doing when others are telling you otherwise.
Nicole is a marketing + life + small business coach. She started her career in
marketing in 2008 and has evolved as the industry has changed over those years.
She loves all things that deal with your brand and getting your message out into the
world through the Internet and believes organic authentic content is the way to
show who your business really is! She is has a passion for empowering others to
achieve their own version of success, as everyone’s journey is their own! She is your
biggest cheerleader and loves all things that deal with dogs, coffee and her loving